classes were pretty chill.. the only class that i'm freaking out about is the religion class.. because the teacher expects us to be active in discussions and there's the panel we HAVE TO do for one of our reaction papers. it doesn't sound hard but i have major problems with public speaking.. especially to people i hardly know. it's all in my head. and i wish i could just forget what they think or what i think and just talk.. but it's not that easy. i freak out, and get anxious. it's not as bad as before, like in high school, that was horrible. i would turn bright red, start shaking, and my voice would crack, stutter, or slur words. >.< it was BAD! hope that i'll just get over it.. and just do my best, that's all i can do right now.
well.. things for me. it's upsetting.. because here goes another quarter passed.. and still i'm not in the nursing program. i haven't applied for program yet so i mean i haven't really started on that but it's not that i don't want to. i can't.. or i don't think i can.. i have finished all of my generals already.. my first year. the only thing that's holding me back is my TEAS test. i didn't pass it, so i have to retake it. :[ it's upsetting because if i don't pass it this time again i'll have to wait for it again. it's irritating when you see people who haven't been here for that long getting into the program before you. but i mean i wouldn't blame them, it's all on me. and i think that's why i haven't been doing as well as i could be with my recent past courses this school year.. and it's because i'm not motivated. the disappointment hinders my self esteem.. it's hard to believe that i'll get there, when i'm not getting through it now. :[ i know this is not the type of attitude that i should be having if i really want to this.. i just really need to get my head together. seriously.
"shake up the world, that is what i'm about to do, and homie you ain't even on my altitude."
well on a more positive note.. the beginning of this song reminds me of my broham. he got accepted to UC Berkeley. WHOO. but for the spring semester.. he trying to do this fall extension thing so hope that works out for him. hands down, i'm proud of him.. he worked his a** off to get to where he's at.
Hi Roselle,
ReplyDeleteHang in there with nursing! We're all cheering you on.
Also when you spoke at Berkeley you did a really good job. You didn't stutter or turn red or anything. It was smooth and sounded confident. :)
I used to be very shy and had serious fear of public speaking in high school (though people won't believe it now). I had to be on a debate panel and I froze and started stuttering. My brain shut down too - I couldn't get a straight sentence out. I was so embarrassed.
I was scared after that to do public speaking but after serious exposure in college, I'm pretty comfy with it now. Yah but I wasn't at first! So take heart, practice really does improve these things. The nervousness may not go away but it gets down to manageable levels.
Cheers as you start the new quarter - we'll see you on Wednesday!
Good to