I trying to figure out all the reasons why I would feel like this.. I think of all the reasons why and how it came to it and then why and then the reason.. and then there's always this one reason in the back of my mind that always comes out .. is there more to what i am feeling? am i feeling like this because.. i like him? WHAAAAAAAAT? i'm strictly denying it. seriously.
I guess I'm just upset at both of them. I feel like I was their friend in the beginning and now I'm just being casted away. What type of shit is that? Ughhhhhh.. what ever. Man.. i feel like what ever happened for it to become like this was inevitable to get out from. It wasn't like I was the messenger between them two and that whatever they would say would be told to the other. It was told even before I said anything.. so thinking that it was already out in the open, and they were talking about it, when the topic came up then it is okay to talk about it since they've discussed it. Ugh. So complicated. asd.kj'RBMALFKBMdkf.
Now I feel like I'm put to blame for what ever. Roselle has a big mouth don't trust her. Don't talk to her about anything anymore. Ex: R- Roselle X- Friend. R: How you doing? X: .... Eh. Roselle: uh.. are you okay? X: ..... Eh. R: ... ?:/ (the heck man!) I'm just so frustrated at this. It shouldn't bother me as much but it does. I shouldn't care, but I do. I try and stay away from them, but it seems like they're always around. I still consider them as my friends, I just don't wanna consider their drama to be part of my life.
And the thing is .. I feel like I cannot say anything anymore. I feel like they're so sensitive. .. anything.. it's like a burn. And then I feel bad cuz they feel bad at what I said. Ugggh! -__- it hurts too much.. i dnt wanna think about this again. and boo, school starts up again on monday, where i will see them again. oohh, breathing exercises. i need to release these endorphins mannnn.. it will block the pain. :/
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