Soml

Story of my effffing life. 

Update on my life.. is that i am currently crushing on this guy at school. Hah. 

It's been a while since I've really liked someone. well.. not really. i might say since january. hahaha. I dont know.. and it's weird cuz i didn't really have feelings for him. I thought he was cute, and yes he's cute, and i thought i would like him cuz he was one of those good looking guys in my class.. but i didn't feel attracted to him since he seems like a playboy. I still think he's a playboy, but mmmmann, wtf? I don't understand. I think he has a girlfriend so i need to quit. but .. i honestly can't stop thinking about this fool. Lately it's been like this.. my heart and mind are not corresponding, even if they are in one body. but i know the heart and mind don't work simultaneously together.. even if you wanted it to. it's just not happening. one overpowers the other.. and it just doesn't work.. and it's always the heart.. ah, heart. why? 

i tend to do this tho, let my feelings flutter and go on liking someone, but then my brain tells me to stop since .. they're thinking about the consequences.. and what will happen, and what will not happen. It's all confusing. I don't understand. I just think it's me.. I'm just scared. Scared of opening up, .. scared of rejection.. just like everyone else. ahhh. well.. i'll just let this carry on.. like always.