Ughhh.

I am not feeling the facility we're at right now. I'm having a hard time getting adjusted to the place.. Maybe it's just me because we came from a facility that it was hella cool and now we're at this place where it seems just hella unorganized. I feel bad because I'm just comparing to what it was in the other facility.. but it's hard not to since the transition was fast. I'm really sad that some of the CNA's at the new facility are hella fucked up. I mean YEAH i know we're not helping your effing ass right now but we will. If we could we would because we are capable of doing work, but I mean.. don't look down on us because we are still getting oriented with the place. I'm just like .. okay thanks for the warm welcome you know. But I know they're not gunna lay a bunch of rose petals out for us. (Hah, does that work?) I don't know. It's kinda messed up. Sorry, we'll get there.

*Sigh* I'll just have to get use to it since it's gunna be home for a month. :/ My main concern is that there is a lockdown unit where there's like Alzheimer/ dementia/ psychotic patients in there.. and so whenever I go into that unit I'm hellaaaaa paranoid! Watching my back so much. .. Especially since there is a patient who is really combative and .. is positive for HIV! so we have to be careful he doesn't scratch us, or get any blood near us.. omg, scary talaga! Cuz I mean psychotic people have their mood swings right.. they are all right one time and if they get a little agitated oooooh, watch your back. I thought I was going to get attacked today. My heart skipped a beat. Cuz he was there when I entered the unit, and he kept talking to us and I just wanted to go, go, go.. and he was coming up to me talking to me about his past life (mind u i only said hi to this guy) and it was getting him so aggravated.. oooh man, so scary.. -___- My teacher was seeing what was going on and he was like... Roselle, come here! Omggggg... today felt like a bad day for me. -_- So crazy. I don't know if I can deal right now.. but I don't want to quit.

I have to find the strength to keep going on.