3 days away..

xmas is three days away.. there may be some that are feeling the same way as I am right now.. not feeling like there's any xmas spirit. i mean yea the house may be lighted up and everything.. & the small amount of presents that are able to purchased sitting half in boxes, half in bags.. those are just what you can call material items, literally. i don't feel anything. i've been feeling horrible since finals were over. my head aches like there's something wrong with me. :( knocks on wood* i try and put on an okay face and actually face the next day. but i mean what's that if you don't feel anything inside. hmm, when i think about it i do feel something inside, it's just not that warm and fuzzy feeling you would feel around the holidays, but like you know when the fire is almost out and then you've got to either blow on the coals for the spark to stay alive or fuel the fire with more coal. i guess.. all i'm thinking right now is the anime howl's moving castle. how howl's heart was calcifer (the fire).. and if you threw water on him then howl would die as well.. haha. yeah. i want to watch that movie again... like i haven't for the millionth time. ha, not as much as spirited away! omg, i love those movies/anime's? yeah, they're awesome! go check it out if you haven't.

sigh* i always get so side tracked when i blog. i guess cuz my mind wonders like that. i think of a lot of things that connect with one thing and how they relate. ahah. well relate.. kind of. hah.

i guess i've been feeling down since i haven't seen much of anyone else than my fam since the last day of the semester. i guess i need some fresh air.. outside of everything. i've gotta get better soon. my fever-like symptoms faded, my cough is barely present, my head is still throbbing.. other than that it's pretty much it. i've got a lot done at home tho, i did laundry, finished eclipse, finalized my piano piece,.. ha, i guess that's not much. lol. but i was glad i finished eclipse, intense ending that one! haha.

idk if it's just me, but it seems like everyone has a tumblr.. i think i wrote about this before but it's irrrritating. i have/had a tumblr. yeah it's fancy smanchy with it's high-tech looking themes and html gadgets, ♥likes, reblog, tumblarity, it's not my steel-o. ..

ugh, my blog is useless right now. but i hope i get better. my cousin in the philippines passed away. i haven't been sleeping well.. maybe because of him. :/ it's sad, cuz i hardly knew him. it was nice the last time i went to PI that he came over w/ his kids and actually talked to me. that was dope, cuz he didn't seem to treat me like an "americano" like my other cousins did.. his fam has had it rough, he's had it rough, and now he's gone. i pray that his spirit doesn't linger, and that god guides him. i pray.. because it's only 3 days away until we celebrate his son's birth.