Change

I say today is the day for me to get my head right.

Well, my whole mind, body, and soul right..

I'm gonna start with keepi ng my mind focused on my school work. I've got about 2 months left of this program and I need to keep my A game up. I feel like since the time is slowly coming to an end I'm slacking off even more. And I don't want that. I don't want to have that feeling of just cramming shit for a test and then forgetting what I even studied for. No, fuckin, retention. It's not healthy. So, starting from today, no bullshit from my end either, I will be proactive with studying and finishing work. Doing work, not half-assing shit cuz that makes me lazy and I won't even want to finish. I've got to remember to finish what I started. No quitters in this game. I hate quitting, that's my main thing. If I'm put up to a challenge, I'll take it and I'll show you that regardless of what you think, I will finish and prove to you that I can do it. Just do it, like nike.

Next I'm gonna start focusing on my body image. It all coincides with the mind because if the body is not happy, the mind is not going to function. And sure enough, I'm not treating my body right. Not at all. I can blame it on a bunch of things like, .. I'm tired all the time, I can't exercise, I eat because I'm stressed, I'm stressed because of school, everything.. But I'm going to put some effort into treating myself right. By starting to eat better foods, portion control, and exercise more on a daily basis. I felt like I was going good working out everyday during the summer. I guess the warm weather makes me feel good to exercise. Ha. Well yeah, I just want to actually do something rather than always saying I will, and I won't = fail. No failure wanted here.

Lastly, my soul. It sounds pretty funny, I want to strengthen up my soul. Is that possible? Sure can! Well, what I am saying for me .. is I want to be spiritually inclined again. I mean it's not like I stop believing in God but I want to be where I was when I was going to PUC. I was constantly talking to God, and just telling him how it is, and he helped me through a lot, seriously A LOT. And I'm so thankful. But I feel like since I'm not surrounded by that constant worship of God, I tend to leave him for last when he should be first. I need to start talking to God more and not just to get by on a prayer because that's what I should do, but because I have this relationship with him.. and what makes a relationship work? Communication, right? I know that God is not angry at me, He's always going to be there for me, but I want to be able to give back on my part.

I guess you can say, I woke up one morning wanting change. And today's the day.