Thinking..

Times where you expect so much. but then you know what the outcome is.. it sucks. it sucks being the receiver on that end. but it also sucks to be the sender.

If I were. If it was.. I don't know. I don't like showing my feelings. and I don't like people getting weirded out. It's okay. I'll settle my feelings and wait until there is the one that will accept me for me yanoe. I think I feel this way since it's been so long since I've let my heart really like someone. And though this feeling is still new.. scratching on it's way into my heart. I just want it to stop, abort. Not even conceive. And maybe that's the problem with me sometimes. I don't go the extra distance for that. I don't let the feeling sink in.. probably since I'm afraid. Afraid of getting hurt. It's true.

Psychology; what is the number one thing that people fear? Rejection. what is the number one thing that people need? Acceptance. It all fits in with how life works..

I just don't want to be alone when I grow old. That's my biggest fear. Seriously. I don't want to be an old maid. Ewww.. I want to be able to get married, have kids, enjoy life.

For now, I think about it a lot.. well more when I have feelings like this..